she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
