Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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