I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
