Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
