atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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