You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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