hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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