i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
