hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I just googled if crying burns calories
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
