Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
