she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
