He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
