ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
