I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
