i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
