so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
