question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
