Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
just tell him i said nine months
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
