I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
