I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
