If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
