Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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