A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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