so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
