I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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