Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
