May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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