Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
