I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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