so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
