He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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