I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
