shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
