WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
