i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
