Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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