So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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