erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
