Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
