she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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