i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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