How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
