Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
