...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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