so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
