never play flip cup with pint glasses
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
