I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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