I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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