But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
