went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
