just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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