Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I am naked and annoyed.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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